The Random Ass-Kickings of Samurai Rae-Chi

2003-05-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

Rachel's new blog (of sorts): http://www.livejournal.com/users/raechi/.

Probably will discontinue use of this puppy. So go check it out!

2003-05-09T23:44:00.000-07:00

it's not cool when your doctor doesn't allow the pharmacy to refill your prescriptions.

2003-05-08T22:09:00.000-07:00

ANNOUNCEMENT:
I have the cutest boyfriend ever!!!

Ok, so i was worried about nothing, no surprise there. He was way tired from only sleeping 3 hours and so he took a "nap" at 3 in the afternoon. . . . and didn't wake up until 6 in the morning! OOPS! he called me when he woke up (and since i had had my 6 hours of sleep already, i was up), and then he went to his district meeting for all the managers, where he found out he's getting a promotion, and then we went to lunch at subway (which i have been craving for some time), and we came home and talked and laid in bed and listened to the rain, and then when he left i got ready for work. Went to work, came out to my car and there were two roses on my dashboard, and a note (wrapped in side a plastic baggie so it wouldn't get wet) that said "I had a nice time today. I miss you already. -Travis"

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

2003-05-08T00:21:00.000-07:00

I think I got Travis in trouble last night . . . . we went to his house (he lives with his folks) to watch movies and eat pizza, and I ended up falling asleep. (oops) He didn't call me today. . . . I hope he's not mad. He doesn't call every day but usually when he doesn't I can go see him at work, so at least I talk to him once a day. Of course I'm all worried because we talked a whole lot and I'm scared that he's scared about something I said, or that he's scared of me or something. We talked about when he gets his apartment, about how close we are after only dating for 3 weeks, about his exgirlfriend. . . . . ugh i'm worrying too much.

Took a 6 hour nap today, about to go head to bed again. Question for comments: Do you think he's mad/scared/in trouble/etc. or just tired and resting?

2003-05-04T16:38:00.000-07:00

Got up early, went to breakfast with Travis, worked for 9 hours, got picked up by Travis, went to dinner with my parents, came home and watched a movie. He went to work, I went to bed not long after, then I got up and worked, came home and my parents friends came over. Probably will go to Aesop's later tonight, work on SOMETHING.

2003-05-02T20:58:00.000-07:00

i was kinda manic today, i was all jumpity and bouncy and had tons of energy, and I got started cleaning my room and doing laundry and sorting my clothes, . . . . . and then i got lazy. I have done quite a bit of laundry, though, and I got my sheets done and went through a bunch of clothes and underwear and sorted them out, got rid of the old stuff that wouldn't fit or just is too old.

I'm trying to decide whether I should get up in the morning for breakfast with Travis. . . . . that would mean a pretty early morning, but it would be worth it! Plus I could buy HIM breakfast since I have some money. I think I will go find out.

2003-05-01T01:14:00.000-07:00

Two consecutive nights of Travis! Yay! Tuesday night was fun, we went to dinner at Joe's Crab Shack, and then we were supposed to go bowling but we got there too late. So we went to his brother's apartment and watched Road Trip, which I hadn't seen before but was really funny. Then we came back to my house and watched a movie. . . or at least put a movie on, I didn't really watch. We snuggled a lot. Then tonight I went to his house and *gasp* met the parents! He warned me that they were kind of redneck, but they were very sweet and kind and I'm pretty sure they liked me. His dad said (in my presence) "well travis, looks like you got yourself a pretty good girl here." and when I left, his mom said "Thank you for coming! You're welcome back any time!" From the way they spoke, they expected me to be around for quite some time. They said "Just wait a few weeks, our dad will figure out a nickname for you." I feel like I've known them for a long time, just like I feel like I've known Travis for forever. Kinda weird.

2003-04-28T19:51:00.000-07:00

Good news! I talked to Travis tonight while he was on his way to work. He was joking around about being wild when he hangs out with his brother, and he said "oh, wait, you haven't seen me at full throttle yet, have you?" I laughed and he said "I guess at this point we're still in the beginning phases and getting to know each other, I'm just trying not to scare you off!" Sounds like a good sign that he's not just going to jerk me around or use me. (Nice change.) He ALSO said that his brother really wants to meet me, which is another good sign, because that means he talks about me to his brother!

2003-04-28T18:49:00.000-07:00

last spring i was in this spanish class with this really hot older guy (and by older i mean 24 compared to my then 19 years of age). i totally had a crush on him and we studied together a couple times, but nothing ever came from it. well, i saw him today on campus, and he gave me his number . . . . when i was driving melissa home and i was like "damnit, how come a week after i start dating someone, a guy i had a crush on a YEAR ago gives me his number??" Figures.

I believe in an effort to encourage posts to my blog, I'm going to ask a question at the end of each post. . . . so, to get the ball rolling: Would you go for the old crush or the newly forming potential relationship?

2003-04-26T23:05:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it sucks being bipolar, because I can't really enjoy my good moods. I'm always worrying "now when is this out of hand, and what is the line between being normal and being manic?" I was driving home today from Aesop's, all in a good mood because i talked to Travis, I got some studying done, etc. . . . . I was singing out loud like a maniac, and all around having a good time being wacky with no one watching and all of a sudden i was like "oh shit, am I getting manic???" I can't enjoy being happy and carefree because I worry that if I let my guard down, I'll break free of the reigns and go off the deep end. (How many cliches can I use in one sentence?)

On a different note, Travis got a cell phone today, which makes me happy because now I won't have to worry about him paying long distance bills. Plus, he called me on his way to work today, so that means I'll be able to talk to him more often. Not that I want to be a stalker or anything. I just find it difficult to adjust to his work schedule (10 pm to 7 am) and sleep schedule (who knows?).

ANYWAY . . . . . work tomorrow, 11-3 (my favorite shift of the week!) and then Aesop's for coffee and homework! (ugh).

2003-04-26T16:17:00.000-07:00

One month and *checks calendar* THREE days till the big 2-1! The days are passing by pretty quickly, actually, as are the days left of school! FOUR DAYS! Four class days! Hooray! I wonder if I'll go to any of them. I will definetly go to my Feature Writing class, and i should go to all of them, seeing as it's the last week of classes! We'll have to see. I get pretty lazy.

p.s. thanks for the comments!

2003-04-26T00:09:00.000-07:00

DUDE, if i don't start getting some comments, i'm quitting this whole blog business.

2003-04-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

I went on a date last night with Travis, the guy i used to work with who looked me up in the phone book to call me. It was really REALLY a good night. He came and picked me up (scoring major points, because he lives in Illinois!) and we went to Longhorn Steakhouse, and then we saw Anger Management, a very funny movie. We went and hung out at his brother's and brother's girlfriend's apartment, chatted for a while, watched some TV (Blind Date - ha!). He brought me home and we came to my room and made out. . . . and that was it. He didn't try to get me into bed, he didn't try to get me to go down on him, he didn't try to do anything but kiss me. It was awesome. I felt so respected. Another awesome thing was that there wasn't the standard adolescent fumblings usually accompanied by the first time you make out with someone. It just fit. It was slow and unhurried and . . . just a bunch of fun. There are a few problems which I am troubled with, but they are minor: a) he lives in Illinois, which is probably about equidistant from someone in west county, or hell probably closer than somebody in South County, but that could be problematic for phone calls, etc. b) he works nights. . . . meaning OVERnights, like 10 pm to 7 am. but. . . he is an assistant manager at QT, so he's probably bringing in the big bucks. Not that that really matters, but it's a nice idea to keep in the back of the mind. plus then i feel less guilt about the potential phone bills. He needs a cell phone though.

Ahh, the ramblings of someone who has recently found a new subject of infatuation!

2003-04-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

Rented Red Dragon today. Good, good, good film. There is a distinct difference between a film and a movie, and anyone who disagrees has been unable to distinguish crap from beauty. Movies are just movies, such as The Hot Chick, or Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. They are made within weeks by Hollywood companies looking to make some bucks. And that is their purpose: to make money. Films are an entirely different realm. Films are works of art, just as a painting or a sculpture, just as a symphony or a play. They contain beauty, and every detail within them is specifically placed for a reason. Whether the reason is simply contributing to character, clues to the setting, or even subconscious emotional cues. Films are produced by the companies just like "movies" to make money, but there is far more involved. Just as a poet's soul is bared on the page, just as the artist's blood and sweat and tears are displayed on the canvas, the filmmaker invests him or herself into these works.

I wish I could analyze film for a living. Not just write reviews like a critic, but go over contemporary pieces like Red Dragon, Moulin Rouge, American Beauty, The Game, The Fisher King, The Matrix . . . . . . . (the list could extend to eternity). I want to know all of these films inside and out. I want to know why Moulin Rouge has such stark contrasts between red and blue, what the possible meanings could be, what the most logical meanings are. I want to mull through the song lyrics and the script until I think I could no longer stand the exposure to this work anymore. I want to write about these things, as many people write about and analyze famous literary works. Film is a literary form, but it includes color, music, tiny subtle hints like the title of a newspaper at a news stand. It may limit the imagination of the participant, since the characters are no longer abstract but are in plain sight. But each time I view one of these films I see something new. I pick up on a line I hadn't heard before, or not in the same light. I see in the corner of the room a painting which has significance to the message of the scene or the filmmaker's purpose in general. And that's why I admire film so deeply. There is purpose. There is a message. It is not simply about cranking in the dough. It is to spread beauty.

2003-04-20T22:31:00.000-07:00

Wow, I haven't updated my blog in a while. Hmmmm. . . . what has happened in my life since my last update?

Thursday Night
hmmmm. . . . . I went to work, I acted like an assistant manager. I was so proud of myself. I don't think the night would have been held together nearly as well if I hadn't helped out. We had two new cashiers and one person went home early, but we still got out of there at a decent time.

Friday
went to Ryan and Andy's house to watch the hockey game (ick - we lost). Spent the night after drinking a lot of wine.

Saturday
Slept on the pull-out sofa bed thing with Melissa . . . until 8am when Ryan and Andy's dad decided he wanted to go downstairs and watch TV at a very high volume. So we went upstairs to Ryan's bed (which was vacant, he went to work at 6 in the morning). Went to Denny's, went to Melissa's, went to Rag-O-Rama in the loop where i found a pair of leather pants for $12!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY! Banana Republic leather pants for $12, and the Banana Republic tag was still on them. HAHAHAHA! I'm wearing them to my birthday bash. Anyway, after that, we went to my house, got some dinner, cleaned up my room a little bit, picked my brother up from the movies, went and hung out with the boys again, got home at 3:30 a.m. (i'm corrupting my little brother)

Sunday
woke up at 1:00 pm. I had a wonderful time NOT WORKING on a Sunday. I was totally lazy. I got a phone call today from this guy I used to have a crush on when i worked with him at QuickTrip. He was like "you're difficult to get ahold of" and i was like "why, is it always busy? and he said "no, there are like 10 calkins in the phone book!" I was like "you looked me up in the phone book and tried all those people???" My dad's name starts with R, that's over halfway down the list!! After I got off the phone with him, my dad and I started planning my birthday bash at Dave and Buster's. . . . which should be interesting. I'm trying to get 30-40 people there, and my dad is sweating bullets trying to figure out how much this is going to cost. But little girls only turn 21 once!

2003-04-15T20:28:00.000-07:00

it's one thing to joke about "going through withdrawal," if you haven't done something in a while. It's not so funny when your body actually starts to go through withdrawal symptoms. Not fun at all.

2003-04-14T20:35:00.000-07:00

Become an ordained minister in just 3 minutes!

2003-04-14T19:42:00.000-07:00

I got my hair cut. I don't like it. the lady totally fucked it up, but i guess that's what i get for going to great clips. i think i could have done just as good of a job by pulling it back into a ponytail and cutting , which is basically what she did. It took approximately 8 minutes. I didn't tip her at all. I was so pissed. She was about to let me leave with half of my hair longer than the other half until I pointed it out, and then she said thoughtfully, "Yeah, that half does look a bit longer." GRRRRRRR. Stupid bitch.

2003-04-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

In conversations with Melissa (Peña), Pat, and others, we've discussed the question "What would your themesong be?" That is, as if life were a movie and there were ONE song which would signify your entrance to a room (scene), what would yours be? I have been given the Offspring's "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" as mine. I gave Melissa "Drive," by Incubus. I think mine would be Nine Days "Absolutely (The Story of a Girl)".

2003-04-09T21:49:00.000-07:00

i totally slept through class today. I slept through the friggin DAY today. I couldn't fall asleep when i got into bed at 1:30, but once I did finally go to sleep, I was still asleep until 1:30. . . pm. yikes.

i'm so happy with my work schedule this weekend! I work friday during the day, i have all day saturday off, and then 11-3 on sunday. I need to work more, though, I need some money.

My blog is boring. *sniff sniff* nobody ever comments.

2003-04-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

I've decided to go to grad school. Granted, i may not graduate with my bachelor's for a year and a half (or at least a year), but I'm going to grad school. At mizzou. For journalism. It may cost me more than my first year's salary to live and go to school, but DAMNIT, i'm doing to do it.

2003-04-07T20:22:00.000-07:00

My life is so out of whack. My sleep habits are so crappity, my eating habits are really weird, I don't exercise, I smoke. . . . I think I'm facing death within the next 10 minutes or so, according to medical reports. And it makes basic life functions such as school, and a job, quite difficult.

Eh, i'll survive. I think. . . . .

2003-04-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

The Pomeroy show was absolutely wonderful. Incredible. Indescribable. But i'll try. The opening bands were really good. The first was kind of a Weezer knock-off, but they were cute and they did it well. The second band was more polished and professional, but for some reason I didn't like their sound as much. I still bought both bands' CDs. I figure, the last time I went to Mississippi Nights and bought a opening band's CD, it was System of a Down opening for Incubus, so maybe I have the midas touch or something. Then Pomeroy came on, and it was absolutely amazing. I sweated my ass off because I was movin and groovin, but it was worth it. There was a 10 minute battle between Dave (the singer/bongo player) and one of the breakdancers (For those not familiar. . . . YES, Pomeroy has bongos and breakdancers). They played some new stuff, which sounded promising, and the new CD is coming out in early summer. YAY! What a great night!

2003-04-05T13:55:00.000-08:00

Pomeroy show tonight!!!!!! I'm sooo excited! It's been over a year since I saw them, and it's been over 6 months since I've gone to ANY concert, so this is definetly going to be awesome. PLUS it's at mississippi nights, which I haven't been to since I saw Incubus and System of A Down when I was a sophomore in high school! Hooray!

it's a summer night, everything's feeling right, there's something in the air tonight, makes us feel like we are flying. . . .

2003-04-05T00:16:00.000-08:00

i just (re)discovered Quizilla, where I can take lots of little quizzes and figure out things like what cuss word i am, what kind of band i should belong to, what my stripper name would be, as well as the following:

Cocaine.
You like to talk,
you like to run,
but most of all you like to have fun.

Which drug should you be hooked on?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are cutting

What Self-Mutilation Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

GO TRY SOME QUIZZES AND HAVE SOME FUN!!!!

2003-04-05T00:04:00.000-08:00

Evil Genius~~you are truly professional in your
evil work, and you know exactly what you want.
You don't let those rookie evil do-ers or
superheroes get in your way because you have
everything pre-planned. Way to Go

What kind of evil character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

you're fuck.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

pure

What's YOUR sexual fetish?
brought to you by Quizilla

isn't THAT ironic?

2003-04-03T22:18:00.000-08:00

i came to the conclusion tonight that despite 16 years of formal education, i am thoroughly uneducated. First of all, I really don't really know how to deal with people. Maybe I do, but I sure don't do it well. I lose my head way too easily. People get under my skin for doing the simplest things, especially at work. But when i am a patron at restaraunts or stores or whatever, I expect a certain standard, and I always find myself let down. Not that it's a tragic letdown or anything, but still, one would think I would learn from my mistakes and just realize that people at Steak N Shake making $2.12 plus maybe $2 tip on each table just don't give a crap about the quality of my service.

But that's different, that's street smarts. Book smarts I'm really not all that adept in either. For someone who writes so much, and wants to make a living as a writer!, I am not well read. I couldn't make it through Catch 22, I haven't read any Hemingway. I constantly reread John Grisham books and Stephen King and Catcher In The Rye but I don't venture to anything really spectacular or extravagant like War and Peace or anything of that nature. Now how many people can say they have read that? I would expect myself to be one of them! And I felt completely at home in my poetry class fall semester, but how many poets am I familiar with their works? Shit, how many poets can I even name ONE of their works?? Plath, Poe, Frost. . . . um. . . . yeah, point made.

I think that writing is my specialty, that's my one thing that I'm good at, because I don't really have anything else. I can't paint well or draw. I'm not athletic. I can't sing or act. I'm relatively technologically inclined but I sure can't put together a computer or even tell you what or where a motherboard is or shit, even a completely accurate detailed description of what RAM is (beyond Random Access Memory --- i think). I write. I can write poetry, I can write prose, I can write papers. But writers generally read, and I haven't read crap. When I find something I like, I read it, put it away for a while, rediscover it and read it again. I make myself read Catcher at least once a year. I've been told I'm a good writer, and I suppose if i'm not imitating the greats, I must have some innate talent somewhere, but shouldn't I at least get some inspiration or example or something from these well known and highly respected established authors?

And if I am not even interested in reading the works of these people, what does that say about my desire to be a writer? Is that really what I want to do? Is that really a plausible goal for me??

I'm having a mid-life crisis at 20 years of age. Heh.

2003-04-02T23:01:00.000-08:00

today was absolutely beautiful. i had my one class, and then Peña and i went to forest park and had a picnic in the shade. ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL.

2003-04-01T22:21:00.000-08:00

everyone go to this website, it's hilarious

(if you can laugh about a terrorist threat. if not, dont' go.)

2003-04-01T20:49:00.000-08:00

i got a response from Enterprise about where I can go to fill out a complete application. Hooray. Unfortunately, it's way down south, and I am way up north. But hey, for $9 an hour for answering phones, i think I could make the trip.

i think i'm starting to notice the tendinitis in my right foot too. that sucks.

my blog is boring.

2003-03-31T17:28:00.000-08:00

well, I registered for fall semester today. I'm taking the summer off school, and hopefully i'll get some regular hours at work so i can make some money. My fall classes include the following: Photography 1, News Writing, Organizational Communication, Communication in Advertising, and Advanced Poetry Writing. Yay! Two of them are internet courses, so I dont' actually have to get up and go to class, it's all self-paced. And, if that wasn't sweet enough, my Mondays/ Wednesdays start at noon and my Tuesdays/ Thursdays start at 11 am, so I can sleep in!

Can I get a degree in being lazy and sitting on my ass in front of a computer all day?

2003-03-30T21:34:00.000-08:00

COMMENT, YOU FOOLS

2003-03-30T16:47:00.000-08:00

the official diagnonsense: I have Big Toe Tendonitis. So the whole grinding thing wasn't the grinding of two bones together, but rather the grinding of my tendon. *phew*

I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!!!

2003-03-27T22:41:00.000-08:00

ok, so i woke up too late today to go to the doctor, but i really really think i should go tomorrow, because this foot thing isnt' good. being the hypochondriac that i am, i'm worried it's osteoarthritis, which makes your cartilage wear down. oy vey.

2003-03-27T00:27:00.000-08:00

i think something is seriously wrong with my foot. . . . . . if i move my big toe, i have this grinding in the joint at the ball of my foot. i don't think that's good. maybe i should see somebody about that.

2003-03-25T13:29:00.000-08:00

i've applied to four jobs within the last three days - Enterprise Rent-A-Car, Heartland Banks, Walgreens and Blockbuster Video. Woo hoo! I wouldn't mind getting a job at Walgreens if i could be a pharmacy technician, cause that wouldn't be dealing with too many crappy people (just sick people - in the literal sense) AND i would get a discount on my prescriptions! SCORE! I probably would like to work at Enterprise, Blockbuster, and Walgreens in that order. Enterprise seems to be sitting and taking calls for the customer service line. Shite, i could do that!

WISH ME LUCK!

2003-03-23T14:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I hate my job. Anybody (in st. louis) who wants to give me another job, feel free! As I said, saturday was my first weekend day off in a long long time so i was planning on using it in the laziest way possible, but . . . . I just happened to get a phone call from work at 8 am asking me to show up cause they "REALLY REALLY needed me" and they basically gave me no choice, i said no and they kept going, so finally i said ok and got up and got ready for work and showed up to work and said "i'm not working sunday since my day off was taken away today" and they didn't take me seriously. I was like "no no no, this isn't a joke, I'm not showing up sunday" and one of the managers said "she's pretty good at this game, but you don't want to play that with me, Rachel." Well, not one to back down from being taunted and challenged, I sure didn't show up for work today. KISS MY ASS, piece of shit job. Other people can do no-shows and not get more and more chances for them, so it's my turn to be irresponsible.

BOOYA, BITCHES!

2003-03-21T22:26:00.000-08:00

i'm sooo tired!

i have done pretty well in the first round of the NCAA tourney. I got 5 wrong, but that's really not that bad, out of 32 games. and all the ones i got wrong i didn't have going beyond the second round anyway, so it doesn't really hurt my next round.

i got rear ended yesterday. . . . . by a guy driving a lexus. Three people had gone through the yellow so i figured I should probably stop, and I guess he assumed I was going to keep going . . . . but at any rate, he slammed into the back of my jeep. We pulled off into a parking lot and looked at our cars. He had a huge dent in his hood from my trailer hitch, and a bunch of scratches all across the hood and his front bumper. I had not a single thing wrong with mine. Not one scratch (that wasn't there before), not one ding, NOTHING. I was so proud of my jeep. He looked so upset, he was like "well we can call it in if you want, i'm going to have to take care of my own anyway" and i was like "there's nothing wrong with mine, i don't want to call it in". If he had been an ass about it I would have said "well i just want to do the right thing" (ha ha), but he was really nice about it and totally took all the blame, so I held back my potential bitchiness and just drove away laughing that he messed up his pretty lexus and my car wasn't touched.

I HAVE SATURDAY OFF WORK! what am i going to do with myself???? i just don't know. I'll figure something out. The worst thing is that I don't have any hoemwork to do because it's SPRING BREAK!!!! I may try to clean my room, but that may be too productive for my first real full day of break. Any suggestions? COMMENT, you fool!

2003-03-19T20:50:00.000-08:00

SOOOOOO it's started. The majority of my evening has been spent watching (or listening) to the TV and hearing Tom Brokaw talk about the war. and Schwartzkopf (or however that's spelled). and all these experts, bla bla bla.

I don't trust the media one bit. I'm not relying on american media for shit.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so torn about this whole war thing. I wish there would just be some spontaneous revolution in Iraq or he would get assasinated and we wouldn't have to worry as much.

2003-03-19T12:13:00.000-08:00

why, after the one night where i go to bed EARLY, do i sleep in and miss class? plus i'm in trouble with matt because I told him i would work out with him today, and he said if i failed to show up, he would butt rape me. . . . . so i guess i'm looking forward to some full fledged buttraping.

2003-03-18T13:36:00.000-08:00

today stinks, it's all rainy and gloomy.

i DO think i kicked ass on my poly sci test though. And i got my paper back today, an 87, B+, which i'm VERY pleased with, especially considering the fact that i turned it in two days late and I wrote it during those two days after the due date. So apparently he's an easy. . . . er, lenient grader, and i expect to do well on this test.

spring break starts at 1:30 pm thursday!!!!!!!!!! woo hoo!

2003-03-18T00:24:00.000-08:00

i have a huge midterm tomorrow at 12:30 . . . . . why am i not in bed????? why am i not sleeping so i can study in the morning??????

WHY DOES MY BODY HATE ME SO???????

2003-03-17T20:37:00.000-08:00

48 hours to war.

48 hours of civil liberties, 48 hours of some semblance of peace in the world, 48 hours of only slightly-above normal anxiety about terrorism.

Oops, make that 46.

2003-03-15T20:14:00.000-08:00

jeez, my job sucks.

that's all i really can say. i'm being a super bum tonight because my job sucks and it totally wore me out today, and i have to go back tomorrow. Ugh.

I WANT COMMENTS

2003-03-14T22:27:00.000-08:00

well i got an unexpected surprise today. I woke up to the sound of the answering machine saying "Rachel, this is your job. You don't have to come in tonight." The best part? it wasn't a dream! Of course a half hour after I was supposed to show up they called and said "we changed our mind, can you come in?" to which i responded "sorry, I have already made plans." Of course that was a filthy lie, but I thought it rather audacious of them to do that. Make up your minds! So here's a recap of the actual day (as opposed to the plotted out day from earlier): woke up, went to the store to buy cat food (poor starving kitty!), went to work to pick up my check and affirm the validity of the answering machine message, went tanning (ahhh, relaxing), came home, went to the fish fry with my momma, went to aesop's. Definetly a different order than anticipated, but certainly got the essentials in there.

Talked to Shannon today and things seem to be back to normal. I think we're definetly going to try and take it slow (at friendship, not being back together - HA!) but I think it has potential to work out. I'm trying to help him get a job at Melissa's grandma's shop, which would include more money for him, as well as an excuse for me to talk to him more ("just stop by Peña's on the way home from work").

I'm thinking about interning for the ACLU or possibly NARAL. My mom is freaked out that i'm becoming a stinking liberal hippie type, and though I haven't informed my father about these potentials, I'm sure he would shit a brick. Oh well. To quote the great Bon Jovi "IT'S MY LIFE!!"

2003-03-14T01:10:00.000-08:00

i think i have comments now

2003-03-14T00:40:00.000-08:00

i'm debating my class schedule for fall semester. . . . both courses to take and when to take them. I don't know about any internships or even have any possibilities at this point, but I WANT one . . . i think i can work it out that i have evening and video classes so that my days are free. but in the event that i don't get an internship, that wouldn't be any fun. and even if i do, that wouldn't be any fun to go to the internship all day and then class at night. ESPECIALLY if it's an unpaid internship. it would be nice to have that under my belt, get someone who could give me a recommendation and possibly some clips to show for future potential employers. but i also like money. and if i'm going to be driving all around to an internship, i'll need money.

my friday will be boring: wake up, shower, pick up paycheck, go to bank, go tanning, go to aesop's, go back to work, work, go home. oh well.

2003-03-13T20:10:00.000-08:00

I slept today from when i got home at 2:15 until about 9:30. . . . . . . holy crap. I got decent sleep last night, I don't know why my body all of a sudden decided "HEY! give me more!"

2003-03-12T23:27:00.000-08:00

stormy! it was sooo beautiful today and then these unexpected storms come! holy crap! thunder and lightning and bears, oh my! my cat is going crazy.

mmmmmm leftover half of an Ultimate Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box. . . . . . mmmmmmmmm

2003-03-12T17:54:00.000-08:00

i went to half of my classes today. . . . not THAT bad. i am just so friggin tired all the time and I just can't get the motivation to go. I stopped by my high school (IWA - I Will Anytime) and had a nice long talk with Vill. We haven't had that for a long time, and it was kind of weird at first, but it was also really cool. He's a good friend, he's old enough that he can look at things from a "down the road" perspective, but not so much with a parenting, demanding perspective. And he's young enough that I still respect him and can relate to him because he's not over the hill and still in touch with pop culture.

After that, I went to Aesop's and was fairly productive. I read a full chapter in my poly sci book and part of another chapter in another poly sci book. I also rewrote my two anecdotes for feature writing. The only class I'm really behind in is my advertising copywriting class, which sucks because this professor is totally insensitive to absences, no matter what the reason. I'm going to try and talk to him though, give it the old "i'm registered with the office of disabilities" go at it, see if that can't soften him up a little bit. After all, he could get in a lot of trouble for not being accomodating to someone with a disability. It could even result in a lawsuit. How awesome would that be, the hugest friggin liberal in St. Louis getting sued by the ACLU for discrimination toward someone with a disability. Heh.

I'm trying to figure out what to do about classes next semester. I really don't want to take any at all, but that ain't an option. I may take some video/internet courses and then evening courses so i have my days free and i can work or just be a bum and only have one huge exertion for the day. Then I won't have to get up early or anything, and I can be guaranteed day hours at work.

STILL no go on the comments. I'm still trying. Wish me luck.

2003-03-11T19:24:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so classes were skipped today, no surprise. . . . .

I did finally talk to Shannon. That was uncomfortable. I realized as I was calling him today that I really didn't have anything to say to him, I was just harassing. Did that stop me? NOOOOOOOO. However, I am noticing some disturbing similarities between things between Shannon and how things were with Kenny. . . . . bad news. *NOTE TO SELF: do not let it get like that*

2003-03-10T22:50:00.000-08:00

You're Donna!

Which That 70's Show Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-03-10T22:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, the post option is available now, but not working.

HELP! :)

2003-03-10T20:05:00.000-08:00

Top 10 Reasons Today Sucked

10. i couldn't fall asleep till 4am
9. i couldn't fall asleep when i wanted to nap
8. i had very limited social contact with anyone
7. i still have a cold/sinus infection/sicky
6. i skipped a class i shouldn't have
5. my personal hygeine is lacking
4. i had a migrane for the majority of the day
3. i have looming assignments which were not worked on
2. i tried to put comments on my blogger and that didn't work
1. i realized that my depression is relapsing

yeah, that bottom one is what really concerns me, and many of the above on the list are as a result of #1. which sucks. i need to get to the doctor, but that takes motivation and i don't have it. if my headache doesn't go away (which they sometimes don't - i've had 48 hour headaches before) i'm definetly skipping my classes tomorrow.

AND WHY THE FUCK ISN'T SHANNON CALLING ME BACK???

2003-03-09T22:57:00.000-08:00

Ok this one's better - "Rest of My Life" by Unwritten Law

Am I the only one that feels alone though all is home
emotions flow
am i the only one that hears the tears run down my face
would anyobdy recognize at all

cause i know
i'm so slow
but i'm trying
and i'm still dying to know
say you won't leave for the rest of my

life's the only thing that deals the pain like pouring rain
breeding hate
and i dont wanna do no wrong
my god , it's been so long
please comfort me before i go insane

cause i know
i'm so slow
but i'm trying
and i'm still dying to know
say you won't leave for the rest of my life

i know
i'm so slow
but i'm trying
and i'm still dying to know
say you won't leave for the rest of my
i can't have you leave for the rest of my
say you won't leave for the rest of my life

2003-03-09T22:45:00.000-08:00

Random Quote for the Hour: "so you walk into this restaraunt, strung out from the road, you feel the eyes upon you as you're shaking off the cold, you pretend it doesn't bother you, but you just want to explode" -Turn the Page (Metallica)

2003-03-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

if anyone can help me with enabling my blog to be able to have people respond to my posts, email me - rec885@studentmail.umsl.edu

Random Quote for the hour (or until I find something else to get stuck in my head): "Vanilla filla inside the twinkie of life" -Summer Night, Pomeroy

i think my twinkie is rotton, cause this filler blows

2003-03-09T16:47:00.000-08:00

Thought for the Day:

BOYS SUCK

2003-03-09T01:08:00.000-08:00

who do i hate more:
him, for making me do what i did? or me, for letting myself let him push me to it?

note to self: for future reference, new exacto knife blades are very sharp.

2003-03-08T23:46:00.000-08:00

Wow, I have had a blog this long and I haven't posted anything since Christmas Eve???? WTF?

damn,, a lot of shit has happened since then. I got a boyfriend. . .and broke up with a boyfriend. . .and started school . . . and a bunch of crap. Too much for me to remember/post/give half a damn about.

Most recent major news in the life of me: Granny's dying. Alzheimers is slowly taking over. She's in the hospital, on oxygen, and so bad that if you put liquid in her mouth, she doesn't even know that she's supposed to swallow it. Ugh. It won't be long now, . . . I hope. I am disgusted at the thought of her suffering, but I hope that she's so out of it that she doesn't realize what's going on. I do now understand the argument for euthanasia, though I don't necessarily agree with it either way. I definetly know that I'm getting a living will/DNR/whatever. No way do I want to be put on machines if I can't do it myself. That's how I've been through life, that's how I want to be until the end.

I've rediscovered my Unwritten Law CD. it rules, dude. I also found my long-lost Pomeroy CD, which totally rules. It's amazing how I haven't listened to it since the summer and I still have songs memorized. In order. Woo Hoo! (I'm a dork. I know. No need to tell me.)

I'm up awful late tonight. . . . I'm waiting for Shannon to call because he's at a friend's bachelor party drinking and he will get a limo ride back to someone's house, but he will not be in condition to drive. And I haven't seen him in over a week. And I want some cuddling. Er, something like that.

I'm a ho, what can i say?

And thanks to Pat and Erin, whose blogs have inspired my renewed interest in blogging.

2002-12-24T21:37:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! The fam does presents on Chrismas Eve, so I already know what I have! I got a lava lamp, incense, and Hair on VHS (yes, my family must think i'm a huge hippie), as well as a CD of Andrew Lloyd Weber stuff, a photography book, some Victoria's Secret undies and a nice leather desk chair for my computer! Whee!

I think I'm off to light some incense, look at my lava lamp, and listen to Pink Floyd. ahhhhhhhhh

2002-12-24T00:28:00.000-08:00

What up, Bitches, this is Rae-Chi, aka Rachel the awesome kick-ass chick of UM-St. Louis. (ha, as if anything from that school could possibly be kick-ass). Stay tuned for more hilarious hijinx. . . Same Blog time, Same Blog channel!

2002-12-24T00:07:00.000-08:00

Wow. . . . I have a blog! Woo hoo!